Beneath the Surface of AuDHD: It’s Not Just Anxiety or Depression.

Have you ever been diagnosed with anxiety or depression and told that these experiences explain everything you are going through? 

Maybe you’ve been being treated for anxiety or depression for years, but you feel something doesn’t fully fit. 

You suspect you have AuDHD, which is the co-occurrence of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and autism, because you relate to the constant overthinking, emotional overwhelm, burnout, social exhaustion, or difficulty managing daily life. 

On the outside, others, including your clinicians, have assumed that it looks like anxiety, depression, or both. 

However, underneath, something else is going on. 

For many people, what looks like anxiety or depression can actually be the lived experience of AuDHD.

When these two neurotypes exist together, they can often be misunderstood, masked, or misdiagnosed as mental health conditions, such as depression or anxiety.

In addition, anxiety and depression can co-occur alongside the experience of AuDHD, which can make identifying AuDHD more complex.

Whether you suspect you are an AuDHDer or you are experiencing co-occurring anxiety and depression, a neurodiversity-affirming therapist in Ontario, Canada, can support you.

In this edition of our neurodivergent blog, we’ll explore what AuDHD is, why it’s often mistaken for anxiety or depression, what it can look like in daily life, and why so many people go years without the right understanding of themselves.

What Is AuDHD?

Up until 2013, ADHD and autism could not be diagnosed together. They were considered exclusionary to one another. Now, people can be diagnosed with both autism and ADHD. 

Although one cannot be diagnosed with AuDHD, it is a term that is used to describe the co-occurrence of ADHD and autism.  

AuDHD individuals often experience the challenges of both autism and ADHD.

ADHD involves differences in attention regulation, executive functioning, impulsivity, and emotional regulation. Autism involves differences in sensory processing, communication, social interaction, routine, and patterns of thinking or interest.

When these neurotypes exist together, the traits of both of them don’t cancel each other out. They interact with one another. AuDHD is a way of describing how this interaction of ADHD and autism shows up in the nervous system.

What AuDHD Can Look Like in Daily Life

AuDHD looks different from person-to-person. But there are some common ways it can show up in daily life. These experiences can often look contradictory. 

Some days you can feel productive, focused, and energized. But on other days, even basic tasks can feel impossible. You may experience:

• Intense interest in a topic followed by a sudden loss of motivation

• Needing structure but struggling to maintain routines

• Wanting social connection but feeling overwhelmed by it

• Talking a lot in some contexts and going nonverbal or quiet in others

• Feeling “too much” and “not enough” at the same time

  
  

Internationally, it can feel as if your brain is switching from one mode to the next. When your brain is constantly battling itself, it can lead to self-doubt, confusion, and the belief that something is “wrong” with you. 

What Others See vs. What You Experience

From the outside, others may see an individual who has everything together. You may appear as if you are intelligent and capable or independent and highly functioning. 

Based on this, it can be easy to miss AuDHD, especially when masking is involved. However, underneath the surface of AuDHD, there may be:

• Constant mental exhaustion

• Sensory overwhelm that goes unnoticed

• Effortful social performance

• Emotional crashes after “appearing fine”

• Difficulty recovering from daily demands

• Burnout cycles that repeat over time

  
  

Why Is AuDHD Often Misdiagnosed as Anxiety or Depression?

Many AuDHD individuals are often first misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression. The outward symptoms of undiagnosed AuDHD are often what clinicians see first and can include:

• Chronic overwhelm

• Fatigue

• Emotional dysregulation

• Avoidance or withdrawal behaviours

• Shutdowns or burnout

• Difficulty with daily functioning

• Worry

• Low mood

  
  

When looking at these experiences, clinicians may mistake this for anxiety or depression. But the anxiety and depression don’t tell the full picture. 

These symptoms often come from unmet needs related to AuDHD. For example:

• Anxiety may come from unpredictability or overwhelm.

• Depression may come from burnout or chronic masking.

• Avoidance may come from sensory overload or executive dysfunction.

• Exhaustion may come from masking or social communication fatigue.

  
  

So while anxiety and depression may exist alongside AuDHD, they are often secondary experiences, not the full picture.

Women, BIPOC, and 2SLGBTQIA+ Individuals with AuDHD

AuDHD is often misdiagnosed in marginalized individuals because they are more likely to have their traits seen as a mood disorder or anxiety-related condition, as opposed to AuDHD. 

Women, BIPOC, and 2SLGBTQIA+ individuals have often learned to mask their AuDHD traits more often for safety or acceptance. Society teaches these population groups to be accommodating, organized, and emotionally regulated.

BIPOC individuals may have neurodivergent traits misinterpreted through biased or stereotyped lenses, leading to punishment instead of support.

2SLGBTQIA+ individuals may already be navigating identity masking, which can compound the exhaustion of AuDHD masking.

In all of these groups, the result is often that the traits of AuDHD are minimized while external traits of anxiety and depression are overemphasized.

The Cost of Undiagnosed AuDHD

The impact of undiagnosed AuDHD differs depending on the individual. But some individuals describe the emotional cost of AuDHD as:

• Years of self-doubt or self-blame

• Feeling “lazy” or “broken” despite trying hard

• Chronic burnout cycles

• Difficulty trusting their own experiences

• Identity confusion

• Shame around inconsistency

  
  

When your internal experience doesn’t match how others perceive you, it can become difficult to understand yourself at all. Over time, this can contribute to anxiety, depression, and emotional exhaustion.

Masking, Burnout, and AuDHD

Masking involves the hiding of AuDHD traits to meet societal expectations. It often plays a major role in late-identified AuDHD. Masking may include:

• Forcing focus or attention in social situations

• Suppressing stimming or sensory needs

• Over-preparing for tasks to avoid mistakes

• Rehearsing conversations

• Pushing through exhaustion to appear “fine”

• Hiding overwhelm until alone

  
  

While masking may help in the short term, it can often lead to burnout in the long term. The experience of AuDHD burnout often results in:

• Loss of functioning

• Emotional shutdown

• Increased sensory sensitivity

• Inability to complete daily tasks

• Withdrawal from social interaction

• Feeling disconnected from identity

  
  

AuDHD burnout may resemble the experiences of depression, which is why clinicians may misdiagnose someone with depression before they are officially recognized as being an AuDHDer.

Why Getting the Right Understanding Matters

If someone is seen as only having anxiety and/or depression, the treatment will likely focus solely on managing the symptoms of these conditions. 

While therapy can support the anxiety and depression that occur as a result of undiagnosed AuDHD, it doesn’t support the underlying cause of the anxiety and/or depression, which is the undiagnosed AuDHD. 

Recognizing AuDHD, either on its own or concurrently with anxiety and depression, can help to provide AuDHDers with the right support. Support for AuDHD can include:

• Nervous system regulation supports

• Executive functioning accommodations

• Sensory strategies

• A reduction in demands

• Self-understanding without shame

  
  

Understanding your neurotype can shift the question from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What does my brain need to function safely?”

Therapy Support for AuDHD Experiences in Ontario, Canada

If you relate to what you’ve read, support is available. Neurodiversity-affirming therapy in Ontario, Canada, can help you explore:

• AuDHD as part of your experience

• How masking and burnout are impacting you

• How anxiety or depression may be secondary responses

• What supports actually fit your nervous system

You don’t have to keep fitting your experience into frameworks that don’t fully explain it.

Book a Free Consultation With Bee Kind Counselling

If this resonates with you, neurodiversity-affirming therapists at Bee Kind Counselling support individuals navigating ADHD, autism, AuDHD, anxiety, depression, burnout, and identity exploration in compassionate and affirming ways.

Email admin@beekindcounselling.com, call 519-757-7842, or visit the website to book a free consultation with a therapist in Ontario, Canada.

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