Do you feel as if your teen experiences shifts in their emotions from day to day? Maybe they experience significant happiness after acing a test. Perhaps you even do as well.
But shortly after, these feelings of elation may go away when they compare themselves to how their peers did.
During the formative years, teens frequently encounter these intense shifts in feelings due to hormonal changes, social pressures, trauma, sensory sensitivities, and the process of developing their identity.
This can be difficult to comprehend for both teens and parents alike, leading teens to face challenges with emotional regulation and parents to have a difficult time understanding how to support their teen.
If you find your teen struggling to manage their emotions, know that you’re not alone. In fact, recent statistics highlight that nearly one in three adolescents in Canada report experiencing symptoms of depression (Canadian Community Health Survey). Moreover, up to 17% of Canadian youth aged 12 to 24 have reported suicidal thoughts or feelings of hopelessness (CMHA Youth Mental Health Report, 2019).
Seeking help in the form of teen therapy and family therapy can provide crucial support to help navigate these challenges.
In this blog, we will explore how to understand emotions, recognize their triggers, and develop practical strategies to manage big emotions effectively.
Understanding Emotions: What Are They?
Emotions are natural responses to your experiences and can range from joy and excitement to frustration and sadness.
They play a critical role in your overall well-being and reflect how you interpret and react to the world around you.
Teenagers often encounter big emotions that can be overwhelming and challenging to comprehend or regulate. Difficult emotions for teens can range from irritability to mood swings.
Experiencing these emotions from time to time can be a normal part of adolescent development, but if these emotions become persistent, it could turn into a mental illness such as anxiety or depression.
Each of these emotions can be thought of as signals, providing valuable insights into the needs and desires of your teen.
Big Emotions in Adolescence
Teens experience a wide range of emotions that can vary greatly from person to person. Some common “big emotions” include:
Anger: This intense emotion can sometimes mask deeper feelings of hurt or frustration.
Sadness: Often stemming from loss, unmet needs, or disappointment.
Anxiety: Typically rooted in feelings of uncertainty or fear of judgment.
Fear: A direct response to perceived threats or changes in their environment.
Frustration: Frequently arising from obstacles blocking their goals or desires.
Confusion: Often lies in uncertainty or fear of the unknown.
Shame: Rooted in low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy, or self-criticism.
Guilt: Typically, a need for acceptance or approval from others.
Excitement: A mix of hope and anticipation for positive experiences.
Loneliness: A profound sense of disconnection or isolation, even when surrounded by peers.
Exploring Underlying Factors for Emotions
Each big emotion can have underlying factors that, when understood, can empower teens to gain greater control over their emotions. These underlying factors include:
Anger: Often masks hurt or frustration. Teens may feel angry when they perceive unfairness or injustices in their lives.
Sadness: Can stem from loss or unmet needs. This emotion can be particularly poignant during significant life changes, like moving, parental separation, or the loss of a loved one.
Anxiety: Often rooted in uncertainty or fear of judgment. Many teens fear how others perceive them, leading to anxiety in social situations or academic pressures.
Fear: A response to perceived threats. This response can be heightened during adolescence as they navigate new experiences.
Frustration: Stemming from obstacles blocking goals, it can manifest when expectations are not met.
Confusion: Often lies in uncertainty or fear of the unknown, making it hard for teens to make decisions.
Guilt: Beneath guilt often lies a deeper desire for acceptance or approval from others. Teens may feel guilty for prioritizing their needs over others.
Shame: Rooted in feelings of inadequacy or self-criticism. This emotion can spiral when teens compare themselves to peers.
Excitement: Often hopeful anticipation can flip to anxiety if outcomes do not meet expectations.
Loneliness: Frequently accompanied by disconnection or isolation, it occurs even amidst social gatherings when emotional connections are lacking.
In addition to these factors, the unique challenges associated with being part of the LGBTQ+ community can intensify emotional experiences for some teens. Discrimination, isolation, and societal pressures can create additional layers of stress that affect emotional well-being.
Recognizing the root cause(s) behind each of these emotions can help you and your teen develop strategies to manage them better.
Understanding Emotional Regulation
Imagine for a second that your child’s experiences fit into a coke bottle. Each time you shake the bottle, the bottle becomes closer to exploding. This is similar to the way emotions work.
Each time your child encounters a stressful event and is unable to regulate their emotions, the event will cause additional negative emotions to pile up. Eventually your child will explode with anger or act out in some other way if they are not able to use a crucial skill to regulate their emotions in these events—emotional regulation.
Emotional regulation refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and appropriately respond to emotions. Think of it as your child being able to recognize when they are stressed and turning down the dial on the stress meter by practicing mindfulness or engaging in other activities that calm their nervous system.
The Importance of Emotional Awareness
Developing emotional awareness is crucial for teens to have, as it allows them to navigate challenges and maintain healthy relationships.
Understanding that all emotions serve a purpose can also help reduce stigma around negative feelings and encourage open discussions about mental health.
The Connection Between Emotions and Mental Health
Mental health challenges are prevalent among teens that have emotional experiences.
According to recent reports by the Canadian Mental Health Association, mental health issues such as depression and anxiety are on the rise among adolescents. Therefore, there may be a rise in adolescents needing professional support with regulating their emotions.
Understanding Trauma Responses
Trauma may significantly impact your teen’s capacity for emotional regulation. Understanding the four main types of trauma responses—fight, flight, freeze, and fawn—can provide insight into a teen's emotional reactions:
Fight: Involves angry outbursts or aggression as a defense mechanism against perceived threats.
Flight: Often manifests as avoidance or withdrawal from difficult situations or relationships.
Freeze: Can lead to inaction or feeling stuck, often resulting in feelings of confusion or hopelessness.
Fawn: Involves people-pleasing behaviors to gain approval or avoid conflict, often at the expense of one's needs.
By identifying and discussing these responses, teens can learn to navigate their emotions more effectively and seek appropriate support when needed.
Neurodivergence and Sensory Issues
For some teens, navigating emotions might be compounded by neurodivergence, which can include autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, and other conditions impacting emotional regulation.
Additionally, many neurodivergent individuals experience sensory challenges that can amplify emotional responses.
Sensory overload occurs when the amount of sensory input exceeds your brain's capacity for processing it effectively, leading to problems with emotional regulation. Recognizing sensory sensitivities, such as lights, sounds, and textures, can help mitigate heightened emotional reactions.
Strategies for Coping with Big Emotions
It’s essential to discuss coping strategies to manage big emotions. These coping strategies can vary for each individual. What works for one person may not work for another.
Encourage your teen to explore different strategies and find what resonates best with them. The goal is to build a toolkit of coping mechanisms that they can draw on when faced with overwhelming emotions.
Here are some effective strategies that they may be able to draw upon:
Recognize Triggers
Understanding which situations trigger emotional responses equips teens to develop strategies to manage these feelings effectively. Encourage your teen to create a list of people, events, or circumstances that provoke strong emotions like anger, sadness, or anxiety.
Talk It Out
Creating an environment that promotes open communication is vital in supporting teens with navigating their emotions. Encouraging your teen to express their feelings freely, without fear of judgment, can provide the sense of safety they need to work toward regulating their emotions.
You can do this by:
Establishing Regular Check-Ins: Create time each week to talk about their day, feelings, and any challenges they face. This routine fosters a sense of safety and trust.
Actively Listening: Engage in active listening to ensure they feel heard and validated in their experiences. Reflecting their feelings back can enhance understanding.
If you feel you are unable to manage these emotional responses on your own, talking it out with a mental health professional has also been shown to have many benefits. Professional support in the form of cognitive behavioral therapy may be helpful.
Practice Mindfulness
Big emotions can often lead to disconnection from the present moment. Introducing mindfulness techniques can help your teen remain grounded. Here are some mindfulness techniques they could try:
Breathing Exercises: Teach deep breathing exercises that encourage relaxation.
Guided Meditations: Explore apps or online resources that offer guided meditation sessions focusing on calmness and present moment awareness.
Body Scans: Encourage your teen to participate in body scans that promote a connection between mind and body.
Write It Out
Writing can serve as a powerful outlet for managing big emotions. It allows teens a private space to explore their feelings and articulate complex emotions that may otherwise feel overwhelming. Here are some ways they can write down their emotions:
Feelings Journal: Encourage your teen to keep a feelings journal, documenting daily experiences and the emotions triggered by those moments.
Pattern Recognition: Review journal entries together to identify patterns in their emotional responses, helping them recognize triggers and responses over time.
Exercise Regularly
Physical activity is a way for teens to release excess energy and endorphins, improving their mood and reducing their stress levels. Here are some tips to make the most out of exercise:
Find Enjoyable Activities: Encourage your teen to engage in physical activities they genuinely enjoy, whether it be sports, dance, swimming, or outdoor recreation.
Social Connections: Group activities or classes can foster social connections, providing additional emotional support.
Create a Sensory Calming Kit
One effective strategy for managing overwhelming emotions is creating a sensory calming kit. This kit can provide comfort during times of distress and can be tailored to individual sensory preferences. Here are some items you could include:
Sight: Include calming visuals like stress balls, calming posters with serene images, or color-changing light bulbs.
Sound: Add noise-canceling headphones, calming music playlists, or sound machines with soothing nature sounds.
Touch: Sensory items like soft fabrics, fidget toys, or stress-relief balls can provide tactile comfort.
Smell: Essential oils, scented candles, or calming incense can deliver olfactory relaxation.
Taste: Include favorite snacks or comforting tea to provide psychological comfort during tough moments.
Whether you're a teen trying to make sense of your feelings or a parent seeking to support your child, remember: you are not alone in this journey. Help is always available, and through understanding and practice, emotional regulation can become an empowering skill set that benefits your overall quality of life.
Book a Free Consultation with Bee Kind Counselling
Whether you're a teen grappling with big emotions or a parent striving to understand and support your child, consider reaching out for guidance.
Bee Kind Counselling offers compassionate support tailored to the unique experiences of teenagers and their families. Bre and Cassandra, a team of mental health professionals, are ready to help you navigate these challenges together.
Ready to take the first step? Book a free 15-minute consultation with a Canadian therapist by emailing admin@beekindcounselling.com, calling 519-757-7842 ext. 1, or by booking through their website linked below.
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